I was the one who finally managed to get my father-in-law into a top-tier nursing home—after my late husband’s sister flat-out refused to help. I went to see him one evening after work. He was slouched in his chair, eyes fixed on the wall like he was somewhere else entirely.
The first thing I noticed wasn’t his expression. It was the cold. The room felt like a refrigerator.
Anger flared in my chest. I marched down the hall and found the head nurse. She listened, then let out a tired sigh.
“His daughter already contacted us,” she said. “She left very specific instructions. She told us not to turn on the heat unless the temperature drops below fifty.
Said he prefers it cold.”
I stared at her. “He has severe arthritis. He complains if it’s under seventy.”
The nurse shrugged, helpless.
“She’s listed as his medical proxy. Her orders are documented.”
Unfortunately, that was true. My husband had passed away three years earlier.
Legally speaking, the only immediate family my father-in-law had left was his daughter, Diane. And Diane had always prioritized spa getaways and wine tastings over anything that resembled responsibility. I went back into his room and draped another blanket around his shoulders.
“You okay, Pop?” I asked quietly. He blinked at me, unfocused. “Cold,” he murmured.
I wasn’t about to leave him like that. I called the front desk, told them I’d be staying overnight, then drove home. I grabbed a small space heater, his thick wool socks, a framed photo of his late wife, and a heated blanket he loved.
Back at the facility, I made him tea, massaged his hands with warming balm, and stayed until he finally fell asleep. The next morning, I asked to speak with the director. “I understand policies and paperwork,” I said evenly, “but this crosses into elder neglect.
There is no excuse for leaving an elderly man freezing because someone doesn’t want a higher utility bill.”
The director looked uneasy. “You’re not listed on his legal file. Our authority is limited.”
That’s when something shifted in my mind.
I went home and started searching through old boxes. That’s when I found letters my father-in-law had written to my husband years ago. One stood out.
Diane doesn’t want the house. If anything happens, I trust you and Anne to make decisions for me. That mattered.
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